A Good Weekend

This weekend didn't go quite as planned. 

My boyfriend was visiting family and I have been dealing with my cyst issue. Well when he came home, we spent sometime together before he had to go to start school. Well sadly, my pain got a lot worse. I should have gone to doctors and not been as stubborn. 

While at his place, he actually cooked for me and gave me a back rub to help with the pain. Even if he did make fun of me for almost living in his below 35 sleeping bag, even when he was really hot. Cooking breakfast, making coffee, pork fajitas, and even a brownie!

I got him into some shows too. Lie To Me and The Walking Dead. He actually liked them. We even watched a bit of 28 days later and 28 weeks later. He only laughed at me a little when I spazzed over seeing the guy who plays the 9th doctor in the movie. 

Once we got back to my house the pain really continued so it kinda ruined the plans to sit back and relax, instead we sat back and relaxed in a hospital. I surprised the doctor when I said what pain meds I was taking. I was so lucky and happy that Matt was there to hold my hand when things hurt and he reassured me everything was okay. Luckily it was all good news... The cyst ruptured on its own which means I can go to NC and not really worry about it.. 

I honestly have the best boyfriend ever :) Even with school, planning on spending weekends together, helping him with his school work, or even reading his books and just giving him his space. 

Now only a couple more days till I get to see him again and then fly out to NC 

I am so lucky and so happy! 

Doctor Who?

Dear Doctor,

I never fell down the rabbit hole and made it to Wonderland. Peter never came to my window reaching for his shadow. I didn't receive my invitation to Hogwarts on my eleventh birthday. And my closet isn't a portal or Narnia just a complete mess. You may be my last hope for a great adventure. I want you travel with you into the stars. Do you think i could run away with you into all of space and time?

Sincerely, A Girl Who Dreamed

That is why some people refer to me as A Girl Who Dreamed. Ive always been dreaming for an adventure, to travel and see everything that I can.

I get it, Doctor Who is a show and a bloody great show it is, but what some of you don't know is that it is rather real. Some good and some bad. Sure I have a rather long list of things that now scare me to death. Im afraid of.. Any statues, dark libraries, people who repeat what I say, broken clocks, cracks in my wall, time crashes, children in gas masks asking for mummy, gps systems, fat people in the government, fish from space, planets in the sky and well i forget the last one (hehe). Yes whenever I hear the sound of the TARDIS, I drop what I'm doing (sometimes literally) and start looking for it. 

For those of you who do not know who The Doctor is or what Doctor Who is let me explain.

Short Version:

It is about an alien name "The Doctor" who travels through time in a spaceship that looks like a police pubic call box (TARDIS), who saves people and other aliens with the help of his companions and a tool called a "sonic screwdriver."

But what I really mean is...

It's about Friendship and Bravery. Love and Loss. Life and Death. Forgiveness and Guilt. About being human and being less than human and sometimes a bit more human. Skill, Intellect, and sometimes a little bit of luck. Finding the extraordinary in the seemingly ordinary. Looking up at the night sky and realizing you're part of an impossibly beautiful and mysterious universe an that you don't know all the answers no matter how clever you are. Its about looking inside yourself and realizing you're far grate than the external conditions of your life: You're not a shopgirl, you're not a successful medical doctor, you're not a temp, you're not a little girl who needs to grow up or a boy who things the love of this life could have done better. You're the most important person in creation and at the same time you're the most insignificant thing in the world. And having the ability to choose between the two at any given time is fantastic. It's about embracing your inner darkness so that you can stand in the light of your truth. Its about having the guts to do what's right even when everyone else just runs away.

People believe in The Doctor for a reason. He brings hope to the situations that just rips it away from you. 

I dreamed that one day I would meet The Doctor and go on adventures. Travel and see everything that I have ever dreamed of seeing. 

Ive met The Doctor.. well my version of the doctor.. No one but me will get to experience this regeneration. I am The Doctors companion, I get to go on adventures like I've always dreamed of. 

My adventure starts here and now.

The Doctor is real, you just have to find yours.

Oh happy days!

Things are starting to look up for me. Sure thing are still stressful, but it all starting to look better.

Kayden is a bubbly toddler. She is very smart and is still learning new things. She can high five, blow kisses, give kisses, dance, and even knows some words. She is very smart for a toddler, if you ask her a yes or no question she will respond accordingly. 

Now my life is looking up as well. I have a wonderful boyfriend, who I must say is absolutely amazing! Then again I guess I am biased.  Never did I think that I would end up being this happy. I started to think that Josh ruining my life would be the end of me more or less. I was hoping that things would have worked out for Kayden's sake but I am very glad that it didn't. 

Now I am being given an opprutunity to live my life and be happy. I have found a man that loves me and kayden. Someone who actually cares and would do anything to see my and her happy. Who wouldn't try to change me. It is amazing to feel this way again.

Im starting to move forward with my life. And I couldn't be happier.

From here on out only positive things will be happening! I will no longer let anyone bring me down. No longer will anyone rule my life. 

Oh happy days!

Cosplay

After enjoying MisCon for the first time I have decided to go back year after year! But next year will not be a spur of the moment thing. 

My 2015 Cosplay List

Me:

Biohazard/Umbrella Corps Soldier

10th Doctor

4th Doctor

Raven

Kayden:

4th Doctor

These are my main concern as of right now... my list can go on for days.

Mommy is knitting the scarf right now for both of us. I have to say the itty bitty Kayden scarf is so adorable! 

Looking to the Future

I know its been a while since I have written anything here. I know I kept saying " I will start writing more I promise." Well I have finally come to the conclusion that for me to vent and feel better about all that is going on in my life, I need to write it down. I can't really keep track of a journal all that well, so this is what I have.

Lets see what all has happened.... 

- I am officially divorced from Josh. I was skeptical at first as to it being the right decision or not, but now I know it was the correct choice to make. The drama with him hasn't ended, and I'm not sure it will for a very long time.

- Kayden is One! Walking, kinda talking, and is a bubbly little toddler. Oh and a handful! 

- I am getting BACK into things that I enjoy. Cosplay and going to Conventions are a big thing for me. Im also to express myself openly and not have to suppress my nerdy/geeky/fangirl ness! 

I have also made a few goals for myself.

1. New job.... Happy to have the one at McDonalds, but unless we go 24 hour and I can get more hours, I need a new job. 

2. Learn to drive... yes I know I'm a 21 year old who doesn't drive for shame! Its going to change. 

3. Stress less... easier said than done with Josh looming around but darn it I will try! 

4. Work out.... be it walking, hiking, running, yoga, or going to a gym some how, I will start working out more. 

5. Eat better... this is kinda a big one.. Pre-diabetic... yeah... I know i should eat better but when I work getting 50% off McDonalds... its hard! 

6. Be Myself... the most important of all of them... Im done changing myself to make others happy. Don't like me or the choices I'm making.. to bad, so sad! 

I am grateful for the new friends in my life, as well as the old ones who have stuck around. To all of you, Thank you! 

So, things are changing.

Well, times are changing for everyone. Some not so good. 

Kayden is growing up so much! She's crawling like there is no tomorrow. She loves food and playing with it, but what baby doesn't! She really likes it when we go on a walk to downtown. Oh, and attention! 

I am currently trying to find a job, which is proving harder than one may think. Part time is rough to find. But i shall keep trying while also seeing if I can figure out selling bags and hats and things! 

Now for the bigger news. Sadly things just didn't work out. Me and Josh are getting a divorce. Things just didn't work out. I will not get into details but everything will be okay. I will be working on finding a job, waiting on lease to end and just slowly getting things together. Things will be figured out by us for the most part so that we can keep lawyers out of it and get things they way we both agree. Don't get me wrong. I didn't see this happening, but everything will be okay. We will both pull ourselves back up and move on with our lives.

On another note, SNOW! and negative tempatures... not my dream but its nice!!! 

We are Moving....

We are moving! 

No no no, not in that way!

Miss Kayden is crawling now! She has been attempting it for some time now. She first tried by going backwards, then laying on her tummy moving forward and laying down again.

Now that I may have scared you into thinking we were actually moving again, I shall blab!

SNOW! 

Yes we got snow in October. The NC native in me was cringing and twitching Sunday evening while we were waiting on it to start falling. Come 11pm we had a light dusting on the ground and cars. We had to laugh, since that "dusting" would have shut down the state of NC. We woke up Monday morning to even more snow and it still slowly falling. Lets have a little comparison!

This is the NC snow of 2013, in February. 

This is the 2013 in MT, in October at 9:30 am.

and again at noon!

Needless to say this is normal and nothing in Montana. Thankfully tho it is melting and the temps are slowly creeping back up a little. A high of 20 and a low of 10 is just stupid! Mojo is loving the snow tho, all you see is his red collar and the black around his eyes and mouth. Husky + Snow = Perfect Match! Amani on the other hand would rather pee inside like us than going outside, thankfully she knows better! 

And now on a final note!!! 

This is my first month in the MME! I am VERY excited to have my match for November and starting to get to know her! MME is where a group of moms (pregnant, stay at home, working, etc) can get to know each other and make friends! US and Canadian moms can sign up, currently US gets matched with US and Canada gets matched with Canada. Theres a $30 limit to include shipping. Once you get to know your match you send a package with some gifts which can be bought or handmade. The matches just came out and i have to say from the first email i received and scouting a bit on Instagram, my match is perfect for me! 

If you wanna check it out head over to Mom Mail Blog. On her blog she has a link to the Facebook and Instagram for MME! If you wanna sign up just shoot her an email and you will get matched next month! 

Now I am off to wrangle the crawling baby! 

Enjoy!